Monday, June 24, 2013

I'm a Christian

photo by the|G|™

I'm a Christian.

I'm not perfect, although I wish I could be.

I'm human. If you cut me, I bleed and, my blood is red, just like yours.

If you say or do something mean, it will hurt my feelings. I won't wallow in it. I will get over it. But it will hurt me all the same.

I make mistakes... more than I would like... and far too often -- daily, as a matter of fact.  It isn't that I want to. It isn't that I don't try not to.

I sometimes say things about myself that aren't true... yet. I’m not trying to fool myself. But I am, as a matter of fact, trying to make myself into something that I'm not. Or, perhaps more accurately, something that I haven’t manifested yet. Even God, in all of His wisdom, when He looked on a dark earth didn’t say "Wow! It's dark down there!" He said, "Light be!" And light was and continues to be. So, if you ask me how I'm feeling, and I say "I'm healed", or "healthy" or "great" or even "just fine" and it doesn't look that way to you... I'm just calling what isn't so that I can make it what is.

I sometimes don't think before I open my mouth. This can result in a feeling of embarrassment for myself and sometimes hurt feelings for someone else. I'll even admit that, on occasion, when I was hurting I have said something intentionally to “get back at” someone else. (Don’t pretend you haven’t done the same thing. Most people call it “sarcasm”.)  I always regret it later, try to ask forgiveness,  wish I didn't do it and hope that I won't ever do it again.

Sometimes I feel guilt and shame over things in my past. I really don't like those feelings. It does help me think before I speak or act in the future. Pain avoidance works pretty well for me.

I can have a tendency to fly off the handle and be a bit hot-headed. I think the guilt and shame thing feeds the anger. It’s probably the thing I dislike the most about myself. Anger may feel good for a moment, but when it passes, it leaves even more guilt and shame in its place... what a vicious cycle!

I'm an overachiever. I've been known to retake a test that I got a "B+" or even an "A" on, because I know I can do better. If there are 100 points possible, I want all 100!

With all of my short-comings, failures and near-misses, there are some good things I can tell you about myself.
I am a loyal friend. I will offer a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on, even if I have an assignment due by midnight tonight. I know that having someone who will listen is really important--even more important than an "A".

I am a hard worker. Most days, I accomplish more from the time I get up until the time I go to my "day job" than many people I know accomplish in a full day. If I take on a task, I will work tirelessly until it is completed (often with my iPod blaring praise and worship music, and my vocal chords blaring along with it to keep me motivated).

I think I sometimes come across as an opportunist, because I look for the win-win in situations. If I can profit while I'm helping you, why not? Zig Ziglar used to say that you reach the top by helping others get there. I think that's a good thing.

I'm a caring person. If I could get rid of all the pain and sadness in the world, I would. But, I can't. Instead, I try to help those in my own circle of influence by being empathetic when I can, or at least sympathetic.

My biggest pet peeves are a sense of entitlement and a refusal to take responsibility. As a Christian, I'm thankful that I don't get what I deserve, and other than the gift of salvation that was freely given, I'm more than happy to earn my way.  I've also got big enough shoulders to realize that if I screw up, it isn't anyone else's fault but mine. Conversely, if I succeed, it's likely because I had some help along the way.

I'm a Christian. I'm not perfect. Thank God I don't have to be.

I invite your comments... I would especially like to know what you think of this post. What makes it unique? (Or not!). What works and what doesn't? (should do more of... should do less of...) How can I improve my posts?

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